BEDSPINS Dm Am E I shot myself full of idle truths Dm Am E went staggering down through the world. Dm Am E Til I came across an idol F G A I hurled all my epithets and concussions. G F A Now I can't even hate the Russians. Where will I go when truth changes by tomorrow. Seek the truth and you only seek a lie. Firm as a rock today will be faded away sooner or later if it's here to stay. Cause nothing stays even tomorrow fades away. Bridge: Bm G F What should I do when I'm looking through a lens. Bm G Am I realize distortion but of course I look again. E C#m A E Reality is a broken glass alternatives my friends. F#m D F Protect me from normality and I'll follow you G A to the grizzly end. Freud would say "I'm psyched to see you two together especially after all that LSD'Angelo." But he's a fool, doesn't wipe his drool F G F A as it collects on your window pane. His fifty minute hour is winding down. The laughing gas chamber wedding is soon. He took time and a half to course through your brain F G So shave his beard, kick him out of here. F G A His drool on your stool is sticking C G A ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ DISFUNCTIONALLY PLATONIC E C#7 A Bassists got the easy life. E C#7 A Only got four strings to tune. E C#7 A Busted for evidence I can't even smoke E C#7 A free Brenda Wiley the sweet Raccoon. Goddamn I'm furniture again. Can't find an underdose nohow. Did you know Erich was dosing all today. Max didn't know. he doesn't even know now. Bridge: E F# C E Hey you Mozzachriste, Manhattan's not for living it's for drinking. A F#m City girls have got me flailing. D B7 Grieve for Pigpen, not Brent Mydland. I don't care for no sophistication. Living at the top of the white rule civilization. I'm happy living in this 5 percent. conspicuous consumption is probably my only asset. Empty headed oblivion stands at the main gate. Tight hamstrings sauteed over fava beans. If Grover boils over just throw him on my plate. Chewing up the scenery, regurgitating spleens. This is where an iron block of text once stood. Now the page is empty full of yesterday's news. Projections when reflected are not meant to be understood. E C#7 Find the wawa within yourself A E and loosen all the screws ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ DRUNKEN DISORDERLY - ERICH & MAX Intro: (Bass Plays Counterpoint) ||---------------------|| ||---------------------|| ||---------------------|| ||-------------------7-||(2x) ||---------4-5-6-7-6---|| ||-5-6-7-8-------------|| A Ab Too much vodka last night, A Ab collided with my pillow tight. A Ab Gave my girl an awful fright. A Ab Must have been a scary sight Chorus: A Ab G A Ab G I'm not a drunkard, no I'm not a drunkard D Db C F Just because I drink more than you A Ab I'll never drink vodka again A Ab That commie juice just ain't my friend. A Ab It will take three quarts of bourbon A Ab to get back on my feet again (Chorus) Bridge: G Give me bourbon give me aspirin D blow my head off with a gun. C F E Give me bonghits, 30 demerols before I face the noon day sun A Ab Bourbon leads the path of life for me. A Ab Intriplicated blues are all I see, A Ab but I'll always brake for LSD A Ab gin and tonic and ree- fer I'm not a drunkard,etc... ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ FRIDGE OF BECKS BLUES G#dim: --- -4- -5- -4- --- -4- A A/G F D/F# Well I'm just a warm Miller in a fridge of cold Becks I can't get no sleep and I can't get no sex I'm just a toss or few short of a nut If I was a child photographer my name would be Helmut C D Dm7 Nobody drinks you in a fridge of Becks blues G G#dim A Schwag to the kind, your seeds no one can use I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer If it wasn't for my keif hits, I'd be completely ignored I'm not the highest proof of Bourbon on the shelf I tried to have a party, wound up raging with myself Chorus Bridge ---- A Pet Shop Boys wouldn't have me G#m McDonalds' not hirin' (or so they say) F#m Guess I'll put on my Sunday's best B7 E and scare some of the girls away. I'm not a girl's logical choice for an affair I only stand a chance when the girl's unaware I'm not the best bassist to ever play with the Mud Not even Nosferatu would suck on my blood Chorus I'm not the quickest seagull on the beach I'd drink top shelf Bourbon but I'm too short to reach Chorus (1st verse) Chorus ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ HALF ASS D7 unfinished projects line your shelves got pipedreams to spare lost your edge, lost your friends and even losing your hair G everytime there's people 'round F D7 and everytime you're by yourself A ain't got no time to be a friend G A# D7 you're still trying to be someone else That paycheck that you flash in my face, I hope it doesn't last the only position that you're fit to fill is flat on your ass rock star posture feigning grace a lounge lizard bore no label buys your capricious fluff and your attitude du jour narcissus was a chump to you with your circus mirror mind a trailer made man with white trash clothes and a blue collar taste in wine on your deathbed you'll find yourself and you'll have to swallow your pride but even then it'll be too late and no one will come to your side LYCANTHROBLUES Intro: Fmaj7 D7 Fmaj7 D7 G ---------0-------------0--- -2--2--2------0-0---------- -3--3--3------3-3---3------ ----4------0------0------0- -------4------2------------ -2--------------------2---- F# (I drink so much bourbon it makes me howl at the moon)2X Bm D/F# And when I get my fill, baby you'll find out soon (Ain't no Lon Chaney, make Michael Landon shine my shoes)2X Forget about David Naughton and Warren Zevon, they will sink into obscurity's blues (I drink silver bullets, and I don't use no ice)2X I don't want your whole liver, I just want a doggone slice (I crave long pigmeat mama, like I crave jellyroll)2X I won't call you vampire, just don't call me cannibal (Bourbon makes me skiddish, makes me growl and think of death)2X Every educated fool already knows that bourbon is breath (You know Catherine Martin is a lowdown dirty thing)2X If it doesn't rub the lotion on itself, it will get the hose again (You know Clarice ain't no lowdown dirty gal)2X For tasty flesh like hers I would suck the president's brains out with a straw ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ MIDNIGHT MARINADE A6 In days of old when kind bud was sold F#m7 at a price much cheaper than today. A6 I'd roll a fat cone of Indica homegrown F#m7 and float across the Milky Way Gm7 C7 D7 There once was a time when I was so confined I could not be free. But now I'm over like Grover the Casanova rest easy Mama. Whiskey? Gimme! I'm going crabbing and not for pubic lice I'm going crabbing and not with gorgonzola slice And when I'm busy hammerin' Mama I don't need no advice Whiskey marination sautee and simmer my brain amidst drunken contemplation. Hmm, every organ complains while the dry ones weep in misery, I ride the bourbon astral plane Some like deviled crabcakes and belching golden Coors I live soaked in vomit stuck to gobby sumpump floors I pride myself in abstaining from Absolut and Dewars kazoo solo over: (B6 F#m7)4x Gm7 D7 E7 I know these waters like the back of Teddy Pendergrass's withered and useless legs Jackie Gleason's condoms don't hold water except for Larry Fishboin's scoured skull Reality's meant for warpers, not the meekly squeamish or straight at heart. We the corkscrews, pretzels and hairpins skoff at your meager lives. No room at the finish line for groping for the keys. Avert your eyes wretched landlubbers Mighty Max will puke Seven and Seven Seas. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ MUNJED THE KITTEN (E E7 E6 E)2x E Munjed was a lonely kitten they slaughtered all his kin A A/C# A/C A/B E he was forced to sleep in a mitten at the bottom of a trash bin A/C# A/C A/B E Chorus: F# G# C#7 Munjed the hungry kitten munching on his family everyday F# G# C#7 some day he would learn that it is written that every cat will soon have his day ||---------0-|| ||---------0-|| ||---------1-|| ||---------2-||(2x) ||-2/4-2---2-|| ||-------0---|| Munjed's Iraqi owner ran an east side eatery. He fed Munjed's family to local stoners and put their skins on the walls for scenery Munjed grew up eating scraps that the dishwashers threw out the back. He soon became healthy but fat servings of vengeance he swore stacks One day, Munjed's owner, now aged and alone, staggered out the back and headed for home. After gnawing on some of his favorite nephews bones, Munjed leapt ferociously upon the schwarma serving gnome Now Munjed's got his own cafe and serves pieces of his owners every damn day. Serves them roasted, char-broiled and fried. It's the newest taste sensation on the lower east side. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ NITROGEN NARCOSIS Intro: -0---0---0---0----------0---0---0---0---0- -7---5---3---5------9---7---5---3---5---2- -6---4---2---4------8---6---4---2---4---1- ----------------------------------------2- -7---5---3---5------9---7---5---3---5---0- ------------------------------------------ E D9/G E7 C7 -----0----------0------------ -0---3--3--3----0------------ -1---2--4--2----4----3--2--0- -2--------------0----2------- -2--------------5----3------- -0---3----------------------- E D9/G E7 C7 Descend into sanity losin my vanity E C E I'm not an island anymore E D9/G E7 C7 hello immaturity remind me how I used to be E C E Life was so simple and pure A/C# C Esus E I left the wild parties far behind A C E For some vain attempt at peace of mind A/C# C Esus E I grow more complacent every single day A C E Fightin off the demons with Chardonnay Shipwrecked and deserted but back then I asserted my selfish right to drown Blurry nights and jagged days in a sour mashy haze Sobriety bites harder when you're down Rainsford is my name A stranger danger is the game Whiskey is the Zaroff at my heels Matter over mind, the battle of wits rages on I look for someone who can feel My strength is now doubled like after a stiff drink I'm less troubled Her laughter is the key And the others still at sea don't necessarily need to follow me We all find shore eventually ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ PERCOSEX E Japanese Basket Trick on the open sea clismophiliac what you ever done for me. C Brown asshead and his ice cutter A D younger than ice cube but rougher than butter Don't try to raise kids if you marry for money and don't blame me if they start acting funny I believe in X but I don't believe in why I would start bawling but my eyes are much too dry I'm getting really hungry I don't want to look not ready for a gamble and I don't want to cook. Glare down from your perch daddy inside you are beamin some died in their boots, some died in their semen Now that you are young with no offspring in the air listen and learn from the dude with the boot in his hair He's convinced you to kill, can't convince you to care corneas splatter and you just sit there and stare ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ PILLAR OF SALT (capo 3rd fret) E D9/F# Am E A piercing car alarm awakens me at the crack of dawn E D9/F# Am E A dawn that lasts throughout the day my beauty sleep is gone E D9/F# Am E Urine stench and diesel fumes permeate the air E D9/F# Am E Dumpster diving homeless panhandle everywhere G F7 E It's a long time since I've called it my home G F7 E Weekends of ragin are now gone D9 D9/C B7 forever do I feel so alone E Dm7/F E Bb E In my home Screaming taxis pollute the streets young latinos pollute the walls Addled kids pollute their heads with drugs and alcohol A lonely hanging in Germantown 300 births in Queens A Tribecan sculptor wines and dines a Brooklyn teacher screams Stuck up beauties lord the street in their fashion district minds Pretentious yuppies and Euro trash wait for cheesy clubs in lines Blustery snow turns to slush in the winter streets No streams, no beach no swimming pools to stave the summer heat Suburban bliss is now mine to have the rural tilt a whirl While the concrete scream machine up north has become a distant world But I'm not altogether without the strife and turmoil 'cause I brought along with me for luck A New York City Girl ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ SWEET PARISH LADY C G C G It's Christmas time and I have no lime, C G C G I had a rum and coke but I didn't have a dime. Dm F I drank that drink down and stumbled to the street E C I met a lady who was to your mother's knees. She was a sweet parish lady she took me upstairs, she didn't give me tady she gave me a dime's worth of the kind. With the papers I had the Christmas tree too we soon had a fire and New England did approve. We stayed around by the fire all night long. There was a sweet parish lady she gave me a dime it wasn't worth the kind bud but it came in its time. You had a driver's license too. I would spend it on you if you weren't such a fool you're ugly and stupid and you smell bad too. You've got a problem with your size. You can get a pair of glasses anytime. I'll be waiting for you at a quarter of nine. Oh hooo- you can't have a Christmas when you're blue. Am G Wait for my signal if you're smart Am G You will find I never fart I'm an artistic guy I leave in the morning and I get home at five I get drunk all the time but you'll never guess why It's the Christmas season and those tacky Santas they make me blue I get drunk as a phantom you know those phantoms get drunk too ooh. You can't count my change on my left arm. I'll give you a monkey if you don't do me Hiram. Let's end this song soon. I married Brenda Wiley ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ UNBORN CHILDREN F# D My unborn children sing songs of war F# D Baby faced black angels at my door E G D Open up your cells and see them crawl across your floor E G D their eyes are wide hungry for more A C D My unborn children sing to me A F G wordless echoes in my sleep E C D when I try to rest I only dream F G D as I hear my unborn children scream I won't use abortion as a tool as birth control or anything new its just I'm too possessive to let my children loose If I mess them up then I shall lose D Dmaj7 they're angry at the condoms that D7 G Gm keep them all seperate from what they want D and what would make them whole again D They're just gonna have to wait E angry at what'll be their fate A# A sweeter is the silent voice left unopen My girlfriend ran away married a man in seattle who is twice her age he's got maturity and money and a place for her to stay I'm unemployed and smoke pot all day but as I see my babies black angels on parade I sing a song I know they'll never sing back into the dream calling me away to the sea again one day Everytime I go to sleep I wake up that nighttime nursery Even in the morning light I hear them call daddy While i bide the time and sing ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ VIVRE IVRE - Un Heimlich played on a Ukelele with Psyko Iko D7 Tuning: C -0-0-0-0--0-0-0-0- F# -3-3-3-0--0-0-0-0- D -0-0-0-0--3-3-3-0- A ------------------ I'll punch a guy harder than a snooze button but I wouldn't hit a girl for the world. So many guys hooked on their quantities so eager to receive and reluctant to give. We hear the woes of neglected bros sinking into swamps of all self imported growth. So important to remember that nobody is competent of such to survive extremity's bliss. C ----0---0---0---0- F# ----0---0---0---0- A ----0---0---0---0- D --3---2---1---0--- We squander and squabble attempt to endure. Our fans are buying it but we're not so sure. We exist to survive all endurances of past as the endless chances, romances and dances drinks of fancy fulfill our blast. C -------------------------0- F# -3(4)p0-0----------------0- A ----------3(4)p0-0-----0--- D -------------------3(4)---- Diseases float to warn the past of what to fear while the aimless naked jungle brethren pound the floor and jeer. Claude the William is the field of vision truth. Railroad train is taking the grain and leaving us vermouth. The girls bring us X but the pleasures that follow are the tortures of indifference and self indulgence we borrow. We find when separated no one can be leader while the eater feeds and needs the deeds of the greedy meter reader. Smash bang whatcha doing girl gal you know why to grovel while you shovel is dilation of the eye. Once established all the fundamentals of all my girls are worth twice their parentals. C -------------------0- F# -3p2-3p2-3p2---0---0- A -------------0-----0- D -----------------0--- Woman golden all their values are eternal. No man's integrity could stand immobile to the power of the funnel. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ YOUR DAUGHTER, PLEASE D C G F Well I know my teeth ain't pearly and my hair is far from curly D C G F but I got a little girly on the run. D C G F We share our nights of loving twenty minutes in the oven D C G F while endurance of the pleasure is under the gun. D C G F E They know their butter's breaded realize their bed is headed for some fun- nels F# Back in town, gonna hang for a spell A gonna find the preacher's daughter and bring her down to hell. F# Gonna change her life with my sordid escapades A and grind her like a gator in the everglades F# she can't get enough screaming please no wait C A7 on to chapter two as I pull down the shades Toadstool dirty pigeons of yonder and yore circumscribe machismo bunk folklore. He date shtupps a better jewess than ever before pushing prejudice and latent sodomy galore he'll beat a thief and buy a rape on the senate floor. He might eat a little negro plant the evil and let the seed grow but we're fully loaded from the hip - evermore. Next town I hit I slice like a knife making intimate friends with the bartender's wife but he got in the way would not set her free so as his blood flowed out of him his ten high flowed into me. She cried "My life is over you're all I got." I snickered as I slipped away with his money booze and pot. You might clique and fraternize it shave your head and keep fake smiles lit. All cellulited thighs fit under my brawn. My snicker's sweet potatoes eyes get mighty thirsty hungry overactive while a virginated prawn is my putty by dawn I may seem a bit unrealistic, undersensitive antijock ballistic but I'll stomp on self-castrated infected peons In the next town however my life made a change I met a girl straight from heaven she made me feel so strange. She was the dealer's girl and she made my heart melt. The dealer saw my eyes and knew how I felt. Soon guns lit up the night til the sky shone bright like day now I lie in the hospital and sadly slip away ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ YOU ARE MY HANGOVER F Bb G C A Well I've got a long way to go and it plainly shows to all, I know. F Bb G C A Got my back up against the wall but it takes more than a bottle to make me crawl. D7 A/C# E That's why I'm hungover on you tonight, D7 A/C# E cuddling with a bottle cause it don't bite. It's a long and twisted road and I honor only those friends that showed faithful to my buzz. My amber dear is clear and near the veneer is sleek with beer and tears as it always was. I won't break my bottle or balls for nobody. My mind, liver and lungs belong to Marlbuddy. If I'm feeling any pain one friend can ease my brain. His parents are yeast, hops and grain. You know the only love I could never leave is the one with no tricks up its sleeve. My heart is true and so is my drink. Whiskey blues give you something to think. I don't need a whore no more I've got the Circle Liquor Store floating down streams of sourmash bliss all the endless vicious circles on the bar I'll miss "Don't wipe'em away yet, Nat."