THE X-FILES

We were promised brave and exciting new insights into the long 
and labyrinthine conspiracy plot that has been running since 
the show's inception... but what we get is more like a Cliff 
notes summation, good for people wandering in off the streets 
with no clue, and at the same time good for those Sunday viewers 
who are usually too stoned or hung over to remember much of what 
happens week to week, but not what we were promised. More plotless
blather would have helped.

The only time the movie ever really seems fresh and interesting is 
when the much ballyhooed "kiss" comes around. I wont spoil it by 
giving any actual details, but it's genuinely exciting to be so 
toyed with.... and amusing too. After that, it's right back to 
the formula.

What is the most noticeable departure from normal here is the 
turning of Mulder from a film noir-jacketed TV hero into an 
action star. Faster even than Superman, he is able to jet up 
to the Artcic and make it back in time for dinner in Washington 
DC. Running, ducking, dodging helicopters, he becomes a fully 
posable action figure... and the X-Files, usually a very talky 
affair, becomes an action movie, albeit and aciton movie with 
some of the lowest lit shots ever, though I mean this as a compliment.

Finally, I have to say a word about the monsters. Not only have we 
seen these things before, but we've seen them before THIS summer. 
The proatgonists, hastily trying to escape while monsters hatch....
we've seen it in GODZILLA, we've seen it in ALIENS! It is to this 
film's credit that it's imitations seems less like misguided homage 
or outright plagairism and more like accidental similarity, but still,
instead of leaving the theater feeling exhilarated and re-committed 
to the show, you might feel jaundiced and wondering what the exact 
appeal of the whole thing really is, anyway. 

RATING: **1/2