The Island of Dr. Moreau - 1996
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If you are tempted to rent this turkey let me just warn you right 
off, it sucks. I rented it against my better judgement because 
a) I was sick with a cold, and needed a nice light monster movie 
to warm my heart, 
b) I knew it had Marlon Brando in an over-the-top performance as 
the titular Doctor. 
c) I heard it was bad, but at least good-bad, as in campy. 

There are a few other percs that might lure the unsuspecting into 
renting this abomination against nature, including the very bo-hunky 
Val Kilmer and the exotic Fairuza Balk from "The Craft" fame. 
Incidentally, they both turn in very good perfromances considering 
the lousy material they're given. But the sum of this film's parts 
adds up to less than nothing. No amount of drugs and alcohol consumed 
by the typical PROCASTINATOR viewer can rescue this from being 
anything other than a dismal viewing experience. 

A few tips on monster movie making to the director, allegedly 
John Frankenheimer, 1) Never have your made-up monsters walking 
around in broad daylight, in the open. In the original 1933 
version you NEVER even saw the island in the daylight. And the 
monsters were always leering from the branches and hiding in the 
shadows...scary! Seeing these poor saps in this movie jumping 
up and down and squealing in the bright sun of mid-day is simply 
saddening. 

2) The main character should be remotely sympathetic: The lead 
guy here is a self-righteous moron, so seethingly anti-everything 
that he is impossible to root for. Only Fairuza Balk comes off 
well. In her sexy Arabian outfit she's obviously supposed to 
remind us of that North African tribal girl on the National 
Geographic cover with those haunting gray eyes, and she does. 
She's the only one we care about, and we long to reach out take 
her by the hand, and lead her into some better movie. Of Marlon 
Brando's performance, what is there to say but "Oh, Marlon." - F+